Humor Quotes

"Today I’d rather be a Barca. Presuming you don’t have a problem with that and I don’t have to become proportionally diminutive."

"Do not be jealous, tiny man, that I can lift what you cannot lift."

"Hell hath no fury like a woman packing a railgun."

"Shit, sorry, moon boy. Forgot to mind my fucking manners."

"That doesn’t look anything like me. You look like a bloody saint plowed an angel and out you popped. I look like a deranged fucking mutant that eats babies."

"How do you prepare for a kick in the balls? You don’t. You suck it up."

"What’s the quickest way to a Peerless Scarred’s heart?” Pebble asks. “Ragnar’s fist."

"Unlike mortal men, Ragnar didn’t sleep. He merely waited."

"Ah, I see the Ash Lord has become most literal indeed."

"If I have to share air with this Corespawn any longer, I’ll castrate him.” She looks between my legs and raises a notched eyebrow. “If anatomically possible."

"Do you know what I learned from my father’s death? Not to ramble."

"I hope everyone relished their breakfast. You’ll see it again soon."

"Senator Telemanus. I must admit, the architecture certainly makes a statement. It is a remarkable man who can bare his balls to the world."

"I confess. I have always viewed Sevro as a marginal character in our great endeavor. He is ill-tempered, rash, and braggadocious in nature. I don’t know if he’s ever read a book. Let me loose, and I will subdue the illiterate halfman in short order."

"Only fascists should make cities. Demokrats never have a salient thesis."

"This horse rides for only one man."

"I find your face disturbing. It is soft. Like goat cheese. But I do not complain."

"Gift from the gods.” I roll my eyes. “We’re flying in a spaceship. Your ancestors were made in test tubes. The nightgaze by a drunk Violet. And you believe in gods? Hell, I get the racket. For a man you’ve done right fine by yourself with the matriarchs. But stop trying to con a conman."

"An idealist. Don’t fret, it’s a temporary condition."

"I…don’t think you quite understand where Darrow is going, or how he goes places, or what he does when he gets there. I’ve been on the other side of the equation…how do I say it? It’s utter carnage.”"

"Had I a moonBreaker in my palm, I’d shake even the devil’s hand with a grin."

"I was used as a bus driver for a spy I’m in love with who I thought rescued me because she thought I was a hero, whose protégé chose to become a tyrant and shoot my best friend’s protégé in the head—whom I find out was the paragon of honor.” He smiles. “I’m over the moon, goodman."

"Of all the people to clone, it had to be the creepiest."

"Go fuck yourself, Lysander."

"when it comes to breaking a planet, it takes tonnage, Newtons, manpower, and a strong stomach—most of your men will die. Why do you think Darrow and I are the only assholes who take planets?"