Humor Quotes

45

"I wouldn’t want Antonia to lead. She’s a bitch"

- Sevro au Barca
Red Rising, ch. 22: The Tribes, p. 166

"Once, I challenged this prancing oaf to a duel for disrespecting my family—an Augustus fop. He was very methodical—tightened his gloves, tied back his pretty hair, swished his razor as he did before every gory practice bout he’s ever had at the Agea Martial Club.” “And?” “And I hooked him and stabbed him through the kneecap while he was still swishing his razor in preparation.” He catches Lea’s disapproval. “What? The duel had begun. I’m foxy, but I’m not a beast. I just win."

- Cassius au Bellona
Red Rising, ch. 22: The Tribes, p. 168

"I am a master with metaphor and a rogue with assonance."

- Roque au Fabii
Red Rising, ch. 32: Antonia, p. 248

"Oooo. I am Reaper. God of wolves. King of strategy.” Mustang pinches my cheek. “You are just too adorable."

- Virginia au Augustus
Red Rising, ch. 35: Oathbreakers, p. 285

"He always thinks because I’m reading, I’m not doing anything. There is no greater plague to an introvert than the extroverted."

- Roque au Fabii
Golden Son, ch. 10: Broken, p. 84

"Through the thorns to the stars.” Sevro snickers. “You fancy little fart. Omnis vir lupus.” Everyone a wolf."

- Sevro au Barca
Golden Son, ch. 18: Bloodstains, p. 155

"Cacatne ursus in silvis? (Does a bear shit in the woods?)"

- Sevro au Barca
Golden Son, ch. 20: Helldiver, p. 185

"I’m Gold, bitch. What’d you expect? Warm milk and cookies just because I’m pocket-sized?"

- Sevro au Barca
Golden Son, ch. 32: Die Young, p. 282

"It takes a day to break a city, then fifty years to rebuild,” Mustang snaps. “You want to sign up to oversee the reconstruction?"

- Virginia au Augustus
Golden Son, ch. 39: At the Wall, p. 337

"Piss off. I’m not a whiny little bitch like the poet."

- Sevro au Barca
Golden Son, ch. 44: The Poet, p. 380

"Most call me Bronzie. Students call me Proctor. Some call me Rage Knight. The Sovereign calls me traitor. My son calls me shithead.…” “You are a shithead,” Sevro chimes in. “… My wife called me Fitchner. But the Golds made me Ares."

- Fitcher au Barca
Golden Son, ch. 46: Brotherhood, p. 391

"I like to think I’m an endangered species."

- Sevro au Barca
Golden Son, ch. 46: Brotherhood, p. 393

"They were wrong. Your side isn’t made of stone."

- Adrius au Augustus
Golden Son, ch. 51: Golden Son, p. 438

"I said it once. Now I’ll say it twice. If there’s two things in this world that can’t be killed, it’s the fungus under my sack and the Reaper of bloodydamn Mars. Haha!"

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 9: The City of Ares, p. 65

"Mickey had your eyes in a cryobox at his joint in Yorkton—creepy place, by the by—when we raided it for supplies to bring back to Tinos to help the Rising. I figured you weren’t usin’ ’em, so…” He shrugs awkwardly. “So I asked if he’d put ’em in. You know. Bring us closer together. Something to remember you by. That’s not so weird, right?"

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 9: The City of Ares, p. 66

"Shit escalates"

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. Part II: Rage, p. 94

"This is war, boyo. Murder’s the name of the game. Don’t be sad we’re good at it."

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 18: Abyss, p. 137

"Your tricks won’t work here, fat little toad man."

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 21: Quicksilver, p. 157

"You tell anyone I cried, I’ll find a dead fish, put it in a sock, hide it in your room, and let it putrefy."

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 22: The Weight of Ares, p. 169

"I think the shittiest part about getting old is now we’re smart enough to see the cracks in everything."

- Darrow O'Lykos
Morning Star, ch. 22: The Weight of Ares, p. 171

"If your heart beats like a drum, and your leg’s a little wet, it’s because the Reaper’s come to collect a little debt."

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 23: The Tide, p. 175

"The whole place smells like farts."

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 40: Yellow Sea, p. 310

"Howler Rule 17. Only Pixies shower before battle,” Sevro says. “I like my soldiers savage, stinky, and sexy."

- Sevro au Barca
Morning Star, ch. 44: The Lucky Ones, p. 346

"Roque always did dress up a place. Unfortunately he’s got the taste of a ninety-year-old orchestra first chair."

- Cassius au Bellona
Morning Star, ch. 50: Thunder and Lightning, p. 396

"Apologies. Deepest apologies. I cannot stop being captured."

- Kavax au Telemanus
Morning Star, ch. 51: Pandora, p. 403